Ethnic rituals to make your wedding distinctive

Whether you’re planning a budget allying or a full-blown extravaganza, there remains the matter of the formality itself:  how to make it distinctively yours, and interesting for those who sit through it?

If you’re having a precise ceremony, you may have little input into the actual program of the service itself, other than possibly some brief personal vows that you have each written yourselves. 

However, if your Officiant is permissive of other faiths and denominations, or certainly if you are using a non-denominational Officiant, there are some colorful rituals from extraordinary faiths, cultures, and periods of time that might be incorporated into your lip-service to make it more memorable.  As the guests may not be forward with them, it would be helpful if your Officiant would say a few words about the origin and significance of the tradition.

Let’s start with one that won’t be big news to anybody:  the Compatibility Candle.  Of course, this needs no introduction:  the Uniformity Candle ceremony symbolizes the joining of two families, with the bride and adapt each lighting a taper representing their respective kinsmen, then merging the flames of the tapers to light a larger candle together, representing their new “kinfolk,” and blowing out the smaller tapers.  Sometimes the mothers of the brace will come forward to light the tapers and transfer manacles them to the bride and groom.  So if it’s so mundane, why even divulge it?  Because this predictable wedding component could use a more pithy/ interesting twist!

First, some simple math.  It doesn’t take a sky-rocket scientist to understand that this is not the joining of TWO families, but of FOUR: each of you comes from two parents, and each guardian hails from their own family.  And since there are so few ways for fathers to be included in the etiquette–why not have BOTH parents come forward, one to hold the fall off, the other to light it, presenting it to their son/daughter together?  Remember how much nicer this is, for grandparents or other family members up, who would like to see their family acknowledged in some way.  (Put your photographer on give heed to:  this will be a key ceremony moment.)  If a guardian is deceased (or even divorced and not attending), perhaps there is an aunt or uncle from that one's own flesh who could take their place.  A lot of talk surrounding weddings includes “the tree of vital spark” and the value of tradition and family ties; here is an break to expand this mundane little ritual to indeed illustrate it.